I'm cinched!

Well hello there you lot.

Just having a bit of a muse today... not really got anything to say, but am determined to keep this blog moving along at a steady pace so I have something to look back over...

I am currently wearing a CORSET!!! It is an elastic 'esbelt' that I got from Simply Yours at the start of the summer.. it looks great under the dress I am wearing, but only when I am standing (smoothes all my lumps and bumps!) but JEEEEEEESUS, I am sat down and feel like I'm in a torture device... how the hell did the victorians do it?

Today my luvvilies I am going to make a little list of things I want to do when I am a skinny beeee-atch... some of which I could probably do now, but I just don't have the confidence...

Ok - so kicking off at number one...

1) I want to strut around butt naked at night with my lights on, and for my neighbours to look in and say 'wow, she looks gooooood'... haha, ok - perhaps not... but I do want to strut around naked in front of a partner and not be permanently trying to remain 'side ways on' so he doesn't see the full, terrifying width of my arse!

2) I want to wander into a shop - ANY shop - and grab a pair of size 10 jeans off the rail and for them to fit! Failing that, I will grudgingly try on a 12 (A 12!!!) and buy them because there is a little bit more 'give' in them and they fit better around my rather spectacular waist and bottom. Oh yes.

3) I want to ride a bike into work without fellow road users coming up behind me and mistaking me for a giant on a child's bike.. I have this revolting image in my head of what I must look like from behind on a bicycle - after all, they are pretty narrow things, and I - my loves - am not.

4) I want to be able to go swimming and delicately pull myself out of the water onto the side, without the use of the steps (and some rather hardcore hoisting action).

5) I want to go out on a night out wearing something incredibly risque and inappropriate and enjoy the fact people are making comments like 'bloody hell she is brave wearing that, but I guess she has the figure for it' (!!) rather than 'what the hell is she wearing? is she dellusional?' - that boob tube and belt was a bad idea at size 22 (kidding).

6) I want to have all my hair cut off with the intention of looking more 'Rihanna' than 'John Goodman'...

7) I want to have amazing sex and not worry about my 'angles'! Needs no more description really... (I hear you breath a sigh of relief)

8) I want to be 'desired' by men that are physically attracted to me, not 'tolerated' because I am such a nice person...

9) I want people to say I have have a wonderful figure and look healthy, rather than have a beautiful face and look 'well' - grrrr... JUST SAY IT! You look like you enjoy pies! Hehe.

10) I want to pull on some skin tight lycra and go for a jog through the town centre and not worry that all eyes are on me because I am such a hideous sight!

Ok - that's it for today - will keep trying to think of more...

Ooh - and I have bought a new car!! Picking it up this afternoon - very sad about saying ba-bye to my little 2 seater though - but figure I wanted a car that I could fit my bike (that I haven't bought yet) into....

My mum found this hilarious - 'Anna, you RIDE a bike, you don't take it for drives.' News to me!

Enjoy the rest of your day you lot!!

Anna x x x