Well - it's my first day of milk week and I'm still a couple of pounds below my three stone target for Foundation... I have decided to maybe not have as much milk as I should do in the hope that I will still lose a bit and stay in ketosis... this is the plan - but it may not work.
Not too sure what is going on with me really... I am just feeling a bit lonely, a bit low and a bit defeatist when I think that I have another three months of abstinance before I can get onto Route to Management.
I know it is all worth it... the last three months on LL have changed my life so much for the better - but the idea that I am only just (nearly!) at the half way mark is a bit of a tough pill to swallow.
I must admit I have been looking at other options... diet chef being the main one... people can still lose a stone a month on that, but it is 'real food' and is cheaper than Lighter Life... the only things that are stopping me are:
1) Will I be reliant on Diet Chef? When it comes for cooking for myself etc, will I have learnt anything?
2) It sounds a bit mad, but getting that message from Chloe at Lighter Life Head OFfice, and talking to her last week about when I am planning to go into RTM; I really want to see things through now and maybe do a 'My Story' thing with the organiation... it is very hard to get this chance, and it may be totally out of reach - but if I give up now, I might give up the chance to get that real confidence boost that I could really do with.
So- I will stick with it. Diet Chef will always be there in the future if I discover managing my weight is not going well and need to give up control of the reigns for a while... but Lighter Life is my 'here and now' and I want to see it through to the end and not add it to my list of 'things I tried and gave up on'. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.
Anyway - I've done much of my ranting and blurting out emotive stuff about my boyfriend-type-person being distant and un-tactile, losing my dad etc over on the minimins forum, and I don't think I am cope with writing it all again here - but needless to say, I am not having a very nice time at the moment.. I just wish I had someone that was there for me. I spend my life making sure I keep everyone happy, but it appears the people I choose to surround myself with don't share those sentiments.
Hey ho.
Ok - I'm off for a sneaky fag (then I really must do some work! Lol).
x
Monday, 17 November 2008
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Progress pic.......
2 comments:
OMG! I have just read that you got tickets for P!nk! I am sooooo jealous. I tried to get tickets but my damn silly mate forgot and everyone sold out. I am gutted! I have seen Take That before! They are awesome - but don't tell anyone that because quite frankly it would ruin my rock chick image!
B x
Oh my god - I LOVE PINK! I've seen all her tours and can't wait for next year at the NIA. Woop woop!! Take That are great, aren't they? I was in the Golden Circle at the Milton Keynes bowl, for their reunion tour... it was amazing - I was about 20 feet from the stage!!! I was never a big TT fan, but they've def improved with age... we'll keep our secrets 'schtum' - it would f*ck with my image too (I used to run a venue/have a music business, and am considered to be a bit of a music snob etc... sssshhhh)!
Thanks for checking in and reading my blog though - had a look at yours the other day - you are so much better than me at updating it though - so impressed!!
x
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