Stuff to think about...

This is just a quickie so I don't forget... but through all the musings of the last 24 hours, a couple of things have occured to me...
1) Maybe I am testing people by lapsing? Trying to show them that I am not as great as they all think I am... will they still like me if i'm not 'perfect'?! Etc. Hmmm...
2) Maybe I'm sabotaging myself so that I don't actually have to come out of abstinance... I have had the flutterings of panic attacks since I've been eating again, and I am so so terrified of them coming back with food.

There we go - just wanted to put these things down. I'm off to get myself ready for my visit to my sister's....

Merry Christmas! x